the break out.

Since I was a kid, I have always wanted to go out during the Lenten Season. If you grow up in a family of really closed catholics, I bet you know where I'm coming from. Yup.. we are not allowed to even watch MTV on a Good Friday. Ponder that. And here's the worst thing... in my almost 27 years of existence.. I have never gone out to the beach or out of town during the Lenten Season. Not that I don't have a chance.. I have all the chance in the world.. but I feel so fucken guilty doing it. Man, I tell you Lenten Season in this house seems like spending summer in boot camp.

There are times that I hated why I was born in this family. I loathed my mum at times for being always there.. on my back. I hated that they are restricting me on the things that I wanted to do.. for dictating my life. And i hated the fact that I'm broke at times because I need to support them somehow. This is not what I wanted to do. Call it selfish or maybe evil.. but its really not my responsibility. Its not like my parents are always asking for support.. they don't... worst thing is that they don't really ask directly. Its more like they're gonna make my day really dramatic.. following me around or sitting beside my bed.. with a sad face on their faces.. asking me how my day went and how much they are having a difficulty trying to meet ends. Why can they just ask fucking directly.. I'd appreciate skipping the drama and some of the guilt trip parts. Why did they marry each other in the first place without a penny in their pockets? How come most parents save for their own future and for their kids' future??? Did my parents marry each other because they were madly in love??

So I guess now they know.... its not love that makes the world go round. Its the DOUGH.