Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Of Gossip Girl and Cold Holiday Seasons..

I just finished watching the last episode of Gossip Girl.I'm not much of a fan but the reason why I like the show is simply because of one of its character..Nate. No, I don't like him that much the way I fancy Josh Hartnett or Leonardo Di Caprio.. they're all different stories. I'll blog about it some other time.

See, the reason why I'm so drawn with this character is because I am so much like him. I know, I know I should have seen myself to at least one of the show's hot girls.. but thats just the way things are I guess. Ganun talaga. I just simply thinks that the closest character to me is Nate. I just realized it when I decided to view an ex's blog that I have found in the net ages ago and have kept it a secret from him. Anyways, we don't talk anymore so I guess I'm off the hook for real. Recently, I found out that he's hanging out with some great girl and for some weird reason, I felt really happy for someone for the first time in a long time. This guy has always been great to me and its about time that he finds someone he deserves. I guess thats one common ground that the character and I share. We like too many people. We act on our feelings with so much intense and passion but we are always ready to let go of them when they ask us to. Without a fight. And then just like waking up in the morning.. we move on automatically like clockwork. We tend to always weigh things and rationalize and we always end up doing the right things, no matter how much pain it can cause. We believe that its pain never really goes away.. it just gets easier as time flies. We live. We laugh. We love. We cry and do the same thing over and over again. We go on with the different phases in our lives without a care in the world but always ready to face the unfamiliar.. yeah that's Nate.. and that's me.

I have been feeling a little weird lately.. maybe because of the weather. See, the closest thing that we can get to experience winter season is the usual chilly december nights.. its so freaking cold. Why does it have to be really cold during holiday seasons? Maybe, God or some higher being wants us to realize that its time to share our warmth with the people that we love. People that are important.. people thats always been there.

I have been feeling a little nostalgic these past days, I must admit but that it didn't help me to realize that I'm still living in the reality. Maybe feeling a little mushy is just a phase..especially during holidays.

I am in good terms with Paolo now. The ex that has been a burden for the last 2 years of my life. We are talking now.. my theory is that I am sure that we are both over with each other and that friendship comes naturally I guess. All the dramas subsided and we got nothing left to share but to appreciate how great we are as friends. I have realized that I am finally ready to start a friendship without weird expectations and that nothing can ever hurt me again while I share this with Paolo. There's a mutual sign that says he feels the same way.. and thats a great thing. I am happy to reach this state and I am happier that I'm with someone really great as Alex.

What great realizations as the year ends... I look forward on living my life better for 2009. This year is ending and it will never come back again.. I am grateful for all the experiences and lessons gained.

Thank you, 2008. You will be missed.