The taglish angry post..

I was supposed to be blogging on how emotional things brought an intense atmosphere at work today. There was a massive lay-off of higher positions that the company claimed useless and expensive. At some point, the management is telling the truth.. I was sad because I had hear and see people exiting out of the building. Some of these people are my friends. But to tell you honestly, I really believe my boss when he said that we are not bankrupt. The company is making lots of money but not enough to meet the committed goal each year because of the positions that we don't really need. I'm telling you.. I was bouncing on and off the floor today. Yup, I'm still the OIC... and yup.. I'm still in charge of a hundred people plus 10 Team Leads. I know.. go figure.

Anyway.. the reason why this blog entry veered into another topic was because of the background music in my blog. My ultimate hearthrob crush said that this is HIS song to me.. pero teka lang.. hindi pa rin siya ang pag uusapan naten dito....

But the guy who almost beat me into submission of being the GIRL ON THE SIDE. I dated this guy last summer (this was when my relationship with A was in complete hiatus) and because a friend of mine was so hooked on Grey's Anatomy at that point of time.. we called this guy MCWAKEY. And because I'm a real son of a corny bitch, I told him that. (E will probably kill me if she learns this). But anyway, I had a crush on MW for the longest period of time but I was trying to dodge the subject because a friend of mine has a HUUUUUUUUUGE crush on him. He's suplado and the quiet type but to tell you honesty although he's such an indecisive son of a bitch, this guy is really nice plus the killer smile. So blah.. blah.. blah.. After maybe a year of having a crush on him, sa kung anong hiwaga meron ang lola mo.. he finally asked me out. Hindi naman to yung eksena sa pocketbooks na hindi nya alam na nabubuhay ako sa mundo..nag uusap naman kami ng HI at HELLO at Kamusta ka na? paminsan. And sometimes when I'm on a flirt mode, I usually shoot him an IM and he usually replies with a BABE.. pero sa totoo lang ako naman talaga yung unang nagpakana ng BABE na yan. Kadiri ako.. alam ko.

He has a gf then but he left the girl.. I was hoping that I'm not the reason because I know it will pull me down if he gets back with her. The time that we were dating, he was not with the GF anymore. I know. I just know...But he told me that if given the chance that they will talk upfront and the girl will start to cry.. he might just give in because according to him.. he's weak. (Weak daw ampotah... ang laki laki mo na mahina ka pa rin. Letse ka.) Hindi ko na sasabihin ang ending nito dahil kung matalino ka eh.. alam mo namang nagkabalikan sila. OO. kasi sympre ang buhay ay parang telenobela lang di ba? May magiging masaya, may uuwing luhaan at may naloloka at nagmumultong parang yung stepsister ni Barbara lang. Pero wala naman akong balak dalin ang poot na ito sa kabilang buhay.. ang points (plural) ko lang:

1. Baket kelangan madamay ako sa ka-dramahan ng buhay nya?
2. Baket naniwala ako na hindi siya masaya sa gf nya? Tanga ba ko? Isulat ang sagot sa isang buong kokongban paper.
3. Baket delayed reaction ako? Ang tagal nang nangyari neto ah.. pero ngayon lang ako nagagalet. Abnoy ba ko? Manuod ng I AM SAM at ihalintulad ang sarili kay SAM.
4. Baket ako naawa at naghintay ng mga 2 buwan at nagbaka sakaling magbabago ang isip nya at ako ang pipiliin bandang huli ? Gago ba ko?
5. Baket ako naniwala na hindi nya mahal ang gf nya sa kabila ng hindi nya pagpili sa ken? Timang ba ako?

Pero alam nyo ba ang mga gunggong na lalake na yan.. minsan pag napag tripan nilang mang-gago ng babae.. eh talagang HARDCORE silang mag drama. Eh potah.. muntik na akong maniwala dun eh. Habang binabasa ko ang chat log namen ay talaga namang gusto kong gilitan ng ulo ang sarili ko.. pero naisip ko masakit yun eh.Kaya next time na lang kapag may matalas na blade dito sa loob ng kwarto. Inamin ko naman sa kanya na talagang minahal ko sya.. pero sa totoo lang sinabi ko lang yun para ako ang piliin nya. Buti na lang nga hindi ako yung pinili nya kasi nung nakita ko sya ngayon.. parang naisip ko.. shet.. sa paanong paraan naman ako nabighani sa malaking polar bear na ito? Hindi ko alam kung yung paghihiwalay namen ay nagdulot ng depression kaya lumaki sya ng ganun.. o talagang masaya lang sya sa GF nya. Pero kung ano pa man yun.. sana ok sila.

Hindi naman ako galet sa kanya. Mas galet ako sa sarili ko. Sa kadahilanang hindi ko maipaliwanag. Baka nga kasi abnoy ako. Isang taon na tong nangyari pagkatapos ngayon ko lang naisip na..

POTASHET, parang ginawa nya akong tanga ah!