100th post! yey!

I can't believe I was able to keep this blog. I have another blog that contains all the drama in my life but then I wasn't able to keep it. Yeah, eventually I put a stop on feeling pretty dramatic most of the time so there's really nothing to write there. But I know sooner or later I might just update the sight because honestly.. who can avoid drama?? Hell, I don't like it but I realized that without all the D shit then we can never say that we're stronger right?? I got home pretty early today because I was in the office 4 hours earlier than my usual shift. I'm almost done filling up the seats... so thank God for that. The only thing that I need to worry about will be the upcoming christmas shopping and a dozen of reunions to attend to. I might not be able to make it on my Christmas party this coming 15th because I need to be in Alex's aunt house for the exchange gift party on the 16th. Hopefully by then, I already have a car to avoid the hassle of commuting. Keeping my fingers crossed. ;)

I can't seem to get this thought out of my head for the past days.. GETTING MARRIED. Ok, don't freak out.. I'm not yet ready to go to that phase. I was just thinking about it because two of my closest guy friends are already married.. well technically, the other one will be getting married this coming 28th. My bestest friend in the world tied the knot early this year. It broke my heart to see him taking the decision at an early age.. but hell, at some point life compels us to do things like that right? Especially when we are so in love. My only wish for these two great guys is to find happiness after all the heartbreaks and drama that they have gone through pretty much on the early years of our friendship. I love these guys, i really do. And if I could, I would want to take care of them for the rest of my life but all boys need to grow up. Thats just something that I need to get used to. At the end of the day, if everything didn't work out fine for them... I know for sure that they had the time of their lives. We cannot outsmart getting hurt right? We need to let down our guards to make each time worth while.. to feel alive again.. but then payback is a bitch. Em i making any sense here??

I don't have plans of getting married yet. If you asked me, I've been into this relationship for quite sometime.. 7 years.. and still no plans. Well actually we have a plan to settle two years from now.. but 2 years is a long time.. I really don't know whats going to happen then. i love my guy of course, thats the honest truth, I just don't want to plan everything ahead only to find out in the end that we'll both have a change of heart. Its devastating. I guess my problem is I always have my guards up. i don't let anyone in even if it kills me to lose a person.. I am super understanding, a friend once said. And i see that its one of my major flaws. I realized a lot of things when I was single. Bless me. We can only have moments of clarity when everything seems pretty blurry at the start. How can you know light when you didn't go off wandering in the darkness for a long time?? Thats what I'm talking about.

Maybe I will get married or maybe not.. but one thing is for sure... i am in love like most of the married couples that I know. I am responsibly in love with a person that I've been with for 7 years. Sure we both made mistakes in the past but we get back together and realized that we've grown a lot from all these things. Cheating at some point is inevitable in a relationship.. without it we won't feel "real". I'm not saying its a good thing but c'mon.. its one of the downside of being human right? We sometimes love to be in a mess. But after cheating there are a lot of things that we can realize.. above all the drama there's still the struggle of picking up the shattered pieces.. glued it.. to comfort ourselves that we are unbreakable now. Yeah, whether we like it or not.. we are breakable.. what makes you think that we are unbreakable anyway? Thats not a way to live..

This is life. This is me. This is the world. The world we all live in.. if you can stand up in the crowd and blurt out in the open that you have never experienced heart aches and loneliness... then what is it that you live for?? How will you know the feeling of happiness when you haven't experienced being lonely? Love when you are unloved at some point?? If you admit to yourself that you made mistakes and outlive to realize in the end that you are a better person.. then you deserve a standing ovation. Isn't that what we all live for? To fail and succeed... to stumble and stand... to cry and to smile.. without all of these.. honestly, whats the point of living??

yeah.. you bet. Drama.. Drama.. Drama. Yeah, I take my title seriously.

So long for my 100th post.. check you all later.