*the first half*

This blog entry is for my dearest friend, Daniel, who thinks that my blogspot is really interesting because he can't understand a word on it and for my friend Paolo who enjoys criticizing my works on his free time..So since you guys are there during my darkest times..here goes my unbearably nonsense piece.

Geez, i really dunno where to start. Its weird to write a review of the things that happened on the first half of the year. Ok. So my move to Libis was the first mark of the year. It was freakin lonely. I was getting over someone who shared a part of my life during the Christmas season. The move to Libis was not really a solid plan.. I said it a couple of times that I didn't move there for the wrong reasons.. but partly.. I guess I did. I was scared to stand on my own without my friends whom I've grown with for the last 3 years. I was hesitant to make friends, but as time passed by I realized that I was getting a head start and I'm automatically getting rid of the pain. Plus.. I was able to improve my knowledge with directions. (going to Libis back and forth was an adventure thats really impossible to miss, ladies and gentlemen!)

Come March, I was able to meet someone new. Though, things didn't work out the way that we planned it.. I still think that it was one hell of a ride. My summer was full of drama and big realizations that made me stronger now. I was impulsive as usual.. and confused.. and lonely... and weak. My emotions got the better of me.. I can't promise anything but I just know that when the same shit happen again... I know that I know better.

Work is work as usual. There are people who adore me but I'd still go with hate. I think a large number of reps really hate me. This is how I'm wired : LOVE ME, HATE ME.. I'm just being me. I was complained.. praised.. loved..liked..admired..and envied. These things never affect me. I still suck at deliverables though my reasoning skills did improve big time! :) (ask eunice!)

Mostly. I have learned to deal with pain. I realized that without it.. a person wouldn't feel real. I cried. I laughed. I grunted at life but I know for sure.. it will go on regardless of what I really feel towards it. I have learned to draw limitations and expectations from it. I have learned to fence unnecessary emotions without feeling pain. I have learned to accept my capabilities as a person without feeling less. I found a way to deal with my insecurities and my shortcomings. I have learned to let go of painful memories to make space for the happy ones. I realized that there is no logic behind love. Its just plain love as it is.

i bruised my knees. My wings were broken but were healed by time. I'm not saying that I'm the expert now.. hell no. The only difference is.. I just fuckin' know better this time.

Do your worst.