Post Thanksgiving list

My list is pretty random but as far as I know these are the things that I'm thankful for.

1. Sony Playstation consoles
2. Mi Familia
3. My friends
4. Video games and DVD pirates
5. Alex
6. The Dark Gift writers
7. My Led Zep Discography
8. My collection of books
9. My PC
10. Lotion and oils
11. Acupuncture (they keep me sane!)
12. My Ipod Video and all the crappy things on it!
13. Steven Strait, Adrian Grenier, Brad Pitt and Benicio del Toro
14. Cable TV
15. NYFD!
16. The Intelligent and Creative japs!
17. Casual Love
18. The feeling of being taken care of by someone special
19. Pretty boys at work.
20. Prison Break!!

.........

11 years of GORE and the like...

While browsing for the latest game in GAMESPOT, I looked back at my raging hormone days and lit up. Yeah, It's been 11 years and counting since I played the first Resident Evil game. This was released in 1996 by CAPCOM to Sony Playstation and was later on ported to Sega Saturn and PC. I remembered how I used to come up with crazy excuses to my fellow classmates and faculty members when asked why i often missed afternoon classes. And hell, yeah! How many times did I wreck my PS console due to non stop playing? I can't even remember. I think my dad bought me one PS console, I destroyed 2 of my boyfriend's and one PS slim of my cousin's. Plus my mum bought me a couple dozens to keep me in the right mood at home. (Ha! But my time is not wholly devoted to RE games, ladies and gents! There's the occasional Silent Hill and Tomb Raider and Final Fantasy Saga.) I tell you.. I didn't do drugs and sort when I was in my teenager years.. thanks to Sony and the like!

Going back to RE games... as I was browsing GAMESPOT today, I moaned in frustration when I once again laid my eyes on the remake of the original game (RESIDENT EVIL) that was released on GAMECUBE. I'd trade anything to play it in GC but hell.. why will I buy a GC anyway? When they are releasing RE5 in XBOX360? Now, I'm really torn between 360 and PS3. They are releasing Silent Hill in PS3,
(The first cover title of the game courtesy of Wikipedia)
guys!!! And on the downside of it.. they also released the Resident Evil 0 in GC (The story of Rebecca Chambers)in that console. Oh well, those were the days when I was pretty broke and jobless. I guess at some point you can't really have all the good stuff huh? And maybe.. since these are the first games that were released on the early 2000, I will prolly burn the console while waiting for tons of NOW LOADING... disclaimers on the screen. Just like Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness that was first released in PS2, the sequel to the Last Revelation, after the controversial so called death of Lara Croft. Hey, there's that TOMB RAIDER CHRONICLES that they made first in PS1 before deciding to resurrect Lara on PS2. I didn't finish the Angel of Darkness coz its a real pain in the neck. I was so annoyed with the NOW LOADING thingy on the screen once in a while... so i just played Devil May Cry instead.

Anyway.. let's go back to RE games again! (God, I'm such a blabbermouth when it comes to Video Games, please forgive me.) I might post the RE history when I'm in the mood one of these days. Surely by now, you guys can easily see that I'm a fanatic. But please don't ask me what are my thoughts on the RE movies because everytime my favorite games are being channeled to Hollywood, I always cry in disappointment. They fuckin' killed Carlos in the third sequel! Creative, yeah. But satisfying my standards? Fuckin' far fetched. Some of my friends who watched the third sequel were pretty awed.. but ask my geeky friends.. they're gonna spit on you if you say that. One of them might just slash you in the throat ALA Leon Kennedy in RE4 and watch your guts come out of your neck.. ok stop with the violence.. let's focus on my blog entry.

When asked who is my favorite RE character?? I'll range them from 1 to 3. Ok first is Jill Valentine. First reason : She's friggin' hot! The first chick to kick ass before Claire Redfield and Ada Wong. Claire is pretty much young and well.. immature I guess. Ada, I know is smoking hot! but is just a bit.. i dunno.. womanly on my standards? There's no way a woman can combat all those zombies in a red dress and she's just so sickly mysterious that I'm starting to think that she's on the bad side. And oh yeah.. with Jill Valentine.. lock pick anyone?? Second is Leon Kennedy. You

( I'm a kick some zombies' ass!Leon Kennedy in RE4 courtesyGoogle)

have to play RE2 and RE4 to know the difference. In RE2, because of the not so well enhanced graphics... Leon has this stiff almost unmoving hair that turned me off.. but other than that.. I just like his boyish, brave and at the same time coy attitude in the game. If you play RE4, well.. you'll simply hate Ashley being near him! He changed from being the boy next door to the manly ballsy guy that made me hoped of being salvaged and kidnapped by the Los Illuminados just as long as there will be a Leon on the rescue! He's the epitome of the smokin hot my hero type of guy. Ok.. enough of the Leon Kennedy delusions. Let's jump on my third favorite character. Chris Redfield. Geez, I really hope that Jill and Chris has something going on between the two of them. They look so good together. Plus, Chris is the first RE guy player that you can play.. and he looks so damn good in the GC remake. What the hell happened to him anyways? Geez, I hope that I can buy a decent copy of the Veronica Code so that I can finally finish it. I have 5 copies of it but eventually nothing of the 5 is playable on my PS2. Why did they make a movie of RE and focus the story in the non-existent Alice character? And making the original characters like Jill Valentine, Claire Redfield, Wesker, and Carlos on the background? Thats just so unacceptable! She even beat the hell out of Nemesis in the second sequel! I tell you that monster is invincible throughout the game even if you shoot him with a rocket launcher a lot of times... but he died

(Drool, you stinky zombies! Jill Valentine in RE3: Nemesis)

in the movie as Alice kicked him out in the open. Or so I know.. I really can't remember because I fell asleep in the first leg of the movie and woke up seeing the ending credits. Geez.. so much for the expensive movie tickets.

i'm really excited to play RE5. Geez, I wish the PS3 console will depreciate sometime soon. So that I can buy both 360 and PS3. Planning to buy a WII but I have to figure out first things first. Geez.. this is a long post. Might be pretty useless for some of you who don't play much of VGs and I hope that the RE movie fans will not hate me like one of those gory zombies. Just my opinion, guys. No intention of hurting your feelings. :) Like what I used to say before.. this is how i'm wired.. Love me hate me, I'm just being me

(I'll burn you all zombies to death. Chris Redfield in the upcomingRE5)

I'm Kellie.. and I'm signing out. Check you all later.

*Characters photos courtesy of Google Search. All hyper links courtesy of Wikipedia.com and GAMESPOT.

teka lang naman...

I woke up this morning and I realized that I've acted like a complete noob last night. The hell was I thinking?? I honestly feel like what I did last night was completely uncalled for.

I drunk message someone. And hell.. I'm telling you.. hell talaga.

I went out with this guy seven months ago. Things didn't work out the way we wanted it to be. But other than that, everything that happened between the two of us were pretty great naman. No regrets whatsoever. Medyo malabo nga lang yung closure between the two of us. This made me wonder most of the time.. galit kaya sya sa ken kaya nag iiwasan kami? Meron kaya syang narinig na mga tsismis that gave him the impression na parang nag kiss and tell ako?? I'm sure you guys.. know where I'm coming from. If you were able to spend time with a great person.. I'm sure at some point when things like this happens, its compelling to clear out your name. I'm not good with confrontations.. and I'm really not that type of person to carelessly go out in the open to start the drama. For the first time in my life.. I was clueless. And hell, I want to break the ice between the two of us because the thought of having someone holding grudges on you..really freaks me out. I don't want to make the first move.. honestly.

But sooner or later.. I know I had to stop feeling like this when I see him near. And once in for all.. I really want to end it. To put a stop.. to whatever this is and have peace na.

So I gathered every inch of confidence left in me and confronted the guy. It was pretty ballsy, my friend told me. But hell, I don't care anymore what other people might think about me. Its just that I felt so uncomfortable conversing with him because my pride is killing me while explaining my side. I felt like I really don't need to explain or something.. but for the sake of closure.. to make it easier for both of us.. at this point of time..I chose to sacrifice my pride. I hope this will never happen again. I'm not proud of the things that I have done in the past.. but sometimes I have to be the hurtee. Now I know what it feels like to be in the situation. I told him that what I'm sorry for putting him through all of this and that I want us to move on with our lives and look at what we had as a learning experience so that we can be a better person in the present.

I really hope that I didn't sound cheap or easy. But this is the only way out.. I have to face it and be true. I have to deal with my own mess.. stand up and move on. At some point.. I really owe him an explanation.

God, my pride is really killing me. But it was worth it to let yourself out in the open and humbly accept the fact that I cannot always win battles.. you have to lose to gain some. To admit to yourself that life doesn't always veer in directions where you want it to end.. to begin or to stop.. at some point when you reached a stop sign.. you have to take a detour. Every experience.. every moment.. is just worthwhile.

Ah.. finally. The calm after the storm.

Need a part time job.

I'm considering.. part time home based freelance writing.

you guys have any idea? please send me the site that might help.

thanks guys!

Bad Girl no more.

I've seen worst, I whispered to myself on my way home as I patiently wait at the back of the cab. I had a bad day today.. I told P that I felt like the world is conspiring to make my life miserable last night. It was the shittiest day of the week.. far none. Thank God.. I'm not required to render OT today. And thank God for this officemate of mine who kept on sending office correspondence in my outlook that I felt like ricocheting on my seat out of this universe because his letters are so hilarious.. its going to blow your mind. If I was his English teacher, I swear.. I'll beg God to let the earth swallow me and eat my flesh alive. I had one NCNS today and one rep who was late because he thought that the DST was effective today.. some crappy reason that'll just bring the Jack the Ripper in you. Plus the system was so uncooperative... I swear I was on the verge of hauling the pc to the coals.

But anyways.. I'm not going to waste my energy reminiscing all of that shit. I've seen worst..

The only thing that made my day today? A message from an old crush in the workplace. He asked me how I've been doing and all. God, it took me like 15 minutes to compose a decent sentence. I tell you.. I was pretty nervous when I sent him a message days ago and I was scared that he might not write me back. The hell was I thinking anyways?? sending him a hi note out of the blue?? Right now, I'm still thinking that my reply was pretty cheesy and all.. I feel like a complete idiot. i just hope he won't think that I'm checking out on him or something.. I just hope somehow he wouldn't get the idea. But hell, this guy is pretty smart. When was the last time that I went out on a date with a noob anyway??

Someone asked me out today. Some guy I know. Some weird guy. I told him I'm dating someone but then I let him know that he's pretty attractive and all... and If I'm not taken.. I will go out with him in a heartbeat. No bullshit. I don't know if the world turned topsy turvy or something.. because I've been getting invitations from some decent guys that I used to like. And hell yeah, I felt pretty bad ditching these guys.. because at the back of my mind.. I kept on asking myself.. "where you been six months ago?? When I was free and single and lonely??"

You can never justify cheating I guess.. or maybe some people can. But this is how I see it.. there are just deeds that can put you into a deep sort of misery after doing it. And thats something that I don't want to feel. If I can do things like dating other guys (no attachments, whatsoever) while in a relationship, hell that will be fun. But I know that I can't get away with that.. guilt kills me big time. Guilt will always be the death of me. Seeing me in flesh will be a dead give away.

Its normal to gawk at pretty boys. When they talk to me.. I usually smile.. flirt a little.. exit. This is my strategy. When they give me compliments.. I am always polite to return the favor. This is how I'm wired. I dated a lot of guys.. the melodramatic.. the good looking nerds.. the hotties.. the bad boys.. the exquisitely confused guys.. the loners.. the jerks.. the talkers.. the rich.. the middle class.. the smart ones.. the intellectuals... the self confessed losers.. the radicals.. the serious types.. and most of all.. the loyal guys. These guys have one major weakness: EGO. And like most of them, I value my ego as if my whole life depends on it. This is the only card that you don't lay out on the table. If you surrender them, sad.. but you will see your world falling apart in front of you.

To all you girls looking for the right guy in your life.. always remember this: There's no such thing as soul mates or a perfect match. You can't enter someone else's world and expect them to change. Life is dynamic. The constant thing in this world is change. First thing that you need to do is to accept the person that is you. Do not dream of becoming someone else.. this will be your downfall. Do not dream of meeting someone in reality who lives in your dream world. We often fall in love with the "fantasy" which fails us to see the real person in front of us. This can scare potential prospects. Do not over analyze them.. do not expect them to fill up the missing part of your life most of the time. If you depend your happiness to your partner, this will ruin you when they leave. You have to find ways to happiness even when you're alone.. this will make you feel whole. Needy girls always attract disasters.

And the ultimate secret of success to catch a guy : CONFIDENCE. We are not supermodels.. or Audrey Hepburn.. but deep inside.. we always think that we are far more better than them. And this.. ladies and gentleman.. is unbearably sexy. Just don't over do it... or else you'll end up as the girl with a big head. Major NO NO.

its 12:06 in the afternoon and the hell em I doing?? God.. work is turning me to a talking self help book.

I'm definitely ballparked. Should go get some zzzzzzzzzzs.